threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
