i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
