i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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