i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
