Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
