we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
