Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
