Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
