You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
