using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize