well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize