i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
