Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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