It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
