i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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