Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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