I am puke
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
