party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize