Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize