this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Actions speak louder than pants.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
