The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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