Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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