ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
