I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize