I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
