So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
