i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
