Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
