We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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