fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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