if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
