She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
