carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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