I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im part way to drunk.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
