we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
