We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
