oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
