why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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