Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
