your parents love me but you hate me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
