yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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