but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
