I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
