We won't sleep together?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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