i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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