My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i came on her dog
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
