I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm like, not good at living.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
