You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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