u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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