Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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