How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
