she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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