Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
