Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
