sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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