so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
