If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
