You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
