i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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