I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
