handjob tips. give me some.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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