This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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