The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize