I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
