Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
