first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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