I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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