So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize