Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize